Complications need demonstrations

Is it because I’m ugly? Is it because I’m shy? Maybe it’s because I’m to nice! None of these are correct, it’s because I don’t ask. I am beginning to see why I finish last in the dating game. After doing some reading an self searching I found that I was ruining my own chances. How is it that I am so successful at life, but suck with women? Well it started with my own way of thinking.

I am currently 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. I have however been on one date. As a child I grew up in a big family.  I quickly adopted the watch an learn method to reduce my chances of making a mistake. An that was my biggest mistake! I was so busy watching a learning that I wasn’t experiencing set backs or things that would help to develop my life. Granted learning without mistakes is a good thing, but I have learned that in the game of life you have to take risks. My lack of risk taking is what hinders me daily. I have been completely unwilling to take the risk of asking a woman out if I wasn’t completely sure I would be successful. An this is the driving force behind my problems.

For years I blamed it on being a nice guy so women never notice me. I blamed my looks until other women told me otherwise. I blamed women for their indecisiveness an having no idea what they wanted in a man. That still rings true in so many cases. I blamed my confidence an a whole host of other mental an physical issues I could conjure in my head.

After reading the book I found that not only was my lack of taking risk hurting me, but all my insecurities were showing right on my face an my body language. I learned that even though I have confidence I didn’t know how to show it. I couldn’t show women that I was a valuable asset for their life. An the greatest of all evils I never asked them out. I read that I have a 100% chance of failing if I never tried. Wow! Talking about an mind blowing, eye opening experience. So I am a good person an could have been experiencing success all this time if I had only tried.

Lots of people laughed at me for reading the book an told me to simply be myself, but they were wrong. Being “myself” is not adequate enough to get what your looking for. I had to change the way I presented myself. I had to come up with ways to change the packaging on an old concept. I had to not find myself, but create the man I wanted to be. I had to turn off my watching an waiting though patterns an start taking risks. An now I am confident that nice guys packaged an marketed correctly don’t finish last.


14 thoughts on “Complications need demonstrations

    • Thank you, that is the main reason I left facebook posting and moved over to actual blogging.I felt people here would enjoy my opinions, an perceived insights better an would be more willing to state theirs.

      • I agree. On WordPress it seems people are more open to ideas and ready to CONTRIBUTE and think… Facebook its either they hate it or click like.

  1. I asoulutely love you post. I am gonna reblog it actually. I can’t say I am in your same situation but I will say that you shouldn’t worry about this. The fact that you cared enough to give this as much thought as you have would show your different from most men out there.

    Also I noticed your a photographer and film maker? I am my self as well 🙂

      • Some people have told me that I need to stop over analyzing everything that I do…. I think that the ability to overlook what we do is something that the human race has been blessed with. No other creature can think back on what they do and the fact we can is amazing.

  2. Being yourself is key, believing in yourself, having confidence and taking risk are too.

    I agree with your last line of this post: “An now I am confident that nice guys packaged an marketed correctly don’t finish last.”

    • Being yourself doesn’t work out well trust me. Women tend to say that a lot, but I have NEVER once found success in it. Telling a shy person to be themselves means they will never find someone. Wait I mean telling a shy man. A women can be herself an not have any issues but it’s different for men.

      • Nobody wants someone who isn’t them self. Trust me…once the realize you aren’t being yourself that’s a no go…any real woman will tell you that. I’ve encounter shy guys and I’m very outgoing so I will engage you in coverssation just to get you to open up. I also do that to females too.

        You can be yourself, it just takes a certain person to bring you out of your shell. Case in point, I work at this place that has a cafeteria and the deli guy is very shy. I noticed he gets real nervous around me, so I asked him his name. Now every morning, I make sure I say “Hi Pedro!” Now when I see him, he is more open and is less nervous around me and he even starts conversation with me… and I even notice him talking to other people more. He didn’t change who he was, he simply opened up.

      • I find it hard to get this across to women… First off I never take woman advice on relationships because they are 99% wrong even though they would like to believe they are right. Secondly it is on the mans shoulder 100% of the time to approach the woman, not every woman is like you. If they were life would be easier for a man, but that’s not the case. Thirdly he did change, he opened up which is something he wouldn’t normally do. He had to leave behind parts of old self in order to open up to you. That still doesn’t mean he has the courage to ask you out, which still leaves him handicapped. So I stick to what stated, it’s a different thing to be friends with a woman AKA friend zone then to actually ask her out, or let her know that you are interested in her. Don’t take this as an insult but as a truth that is all to real. It’s just like normal life if you aren’t succeeding you need to change something your doing in order to.

  3. Pingback: Just a Thought: Being Yourself | Spoken Words & Thoughts

  4. I never said I was 100% right. I know not everyone is like me, nor do I expect them to be. He opened himself up and yes that requires a change. If everyone was shy no one would ever do anything. You have to open up yourself to recieve anything. No one just hands you anything when your closed off.

    I agree when you are not succeeding at something you need to change something. Like I have trust issue, I have to change and understand that I have to open myself up to trust people until they give me a reason not to.

    Change is inevitable. Changing for the better helps you succeed.

    P.S. I don’t know all the answers, I can just offer you my point of view, not saying you have to do as I say or even that I’m right. It’s just a suggestion…

    • I ended the blog with nice guys don’t always finish last when properly marketed an packaged. Which means your the same person just changes are made to the way you present yourself.

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