Denial ends now

Lets get this straight….

You fell in love with someone who didn’t love you back. How did you expect that to end?

You chased the man or woman who wasn’t interested in you, now you you wonder why they left you. How do people expect these plotlines to end? Maybe they will see you for who you are an fall for you. Maybe they will be so taken with you persistance that they will confess their undying love for you. Maybe they will see you as you really are.. A human following human nature to get what looks impossible to get.

You see them as a prize, they see you as a predator.. scary huh? Yep that what it looks like a lion chasing a meer cat down an ripping it into shreds. We tend to be blind to reality, but maybe we are looking to defy it. Maybe we think that we will be the exception that movies are written about. The supervillan that somehow survives the onslaught.

True when you go for the impossible it almost seems worth it. Without great risk comes no reward right? Does that count when you dealing with courting? Maybe there should be a disclaimer on some of the quotes out there.

If at first you don’t succeed try try again.. that’s called stalking

Don’t stop pushing till you get what you want.. that’s called rape

Let’s just take a look at how life an dating are different. In a world where not trying is the same as failing an trying to hard lands you in jail. Maybe we should take it slow.. Just saying

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4 thoughts on “Denial ends now

  1. Love your points here. I completely agree. I think we become enamoured with the idea of being in love until sometimes we don’t see the person we are trying to love. Often when we get what we want, we realize he or she was not exactly what we thought and we blame them for “hiding something”. I think if you take it slowly enough, you will find it all eventually comes out in the wash and the only person we may blame is ourselves.

    And why do some of us want somebody who obviously doesn’t want us? We internalize their lack of want by feeling less of a person or defective in some way rather than picking ourselves up and saying, “I’d rather be alone and happy than together and miserable.”

    I’ve found that the key for me is to work on myself, my flaws, my problems… and make me a better person. If I look up and see someone else trying to be a better person, we have the same goals… It may be a winner. 🙂

    • Thank you for reading this. I have had this problem a lot also mostly from chasing a woman who doesn’t want me an running smack into a guy she wants but doesn’t want her. It’s quite an eye opener an a complete waste of time. How do you go about finding these people with the same goal as you? Do you ask men out that you think may be on the same page? I often wondered how that works, I am often in places where people are in the same mind frame as me IE book stores, gym but I don’t mess with women in places like this because I feel they are searching for solitude. Granted I know any of us would be happy if someone brightened our day but it’s such a steep hill to climb.

      • I love how you think… You are SO right. When we are at bookstores and the gym we are often there for solitude and it can get creepy being hit on (http://endeshabille.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/props-to-the-fellas/). I can say that seeing the same people there day-in and day-out and saying a brief hello here and there can open up doors so that it’s not in the “creepy come-on” category but in the “we share some of the same interests” zone. It takes time though… a lot of time… and we get into the investment/pay-off realm. You guys don’t have it easy.

        I let my goals be known. First of all, my facebook page and all of my activities are planned around my son. He’s with me most of the time. I had a personal dating ad one time too and I stated up-front that he’s my number one priority and I didn’t have a lot of time for dating or anything else. That scared off a number of potentials quickly and knocked my dating pool at least in half. Then after I put my career goals out there, what I believe in, what I don’t believe in… That narrows it quite a bit more. Further, I do things that mean a lot to me. I have met people volunteering to wrap and deliver gifts to children at Christmas, collecting food for the hungry… While I can say that I’m still single and I haven’t found anything long-term, I haven’t felt like any of those people were a waste of time.

        I am also a firm believer that if you keep having the same relationship problem, you are attracted to dysfunction. I am convinced that you have to look for people you normally wouldn’t have that sizzling attraction to… those you would normally weed out for some shallow reason or another… or just because they don’t give you that zing when you look at them or when they’re near in the beginning. I have found I have more productive and long-standing relationships that way. Not that they can’t still get messy… 🙂

        As a female I have had to struggle not to set the bar too high, but to keep it high enough so that, at the end of the day I trust who I’m dating. That has been a major barrier for me. And I know I’m hard on men.

        Also, just a tip: The women who tend to chase men are usually bad news. The ones who are less aggressive and will wait on you are worth your time ( so long as they don’t seem to be playing hard to get to see how much they can get out of you ).

        I complain about dating a lot… but I think I feel a little more sorry for the good men out there. It’s definitely a jungle and women are not easy prey.

  2. I have found there is really no right place to approach a woman. Sooo the key is to do it the right way at the wrong time, if that makes any sense. I work in a grocery store as a cart pusher, I go to college full time an I do my military thing on the weekends, oh an 2hrs a day at the gym. Generally college is a good place to make approaches but if your like me shooting around all the time. Getting stopped can be a huge hassle. As far as the rest of those places, they aren’t really good places to mess around with women lol. I once tried online dating lol NOT for me. I maybe got a few replies but nothing concrete so I considered it a waste of time. Women tend to have more success there seeing it’s sort of like a meat market where you can just find the best looking person an send them a message. Which means the best women mail boxes are full while you drive on sending messages to anything that will reply lol. I think back when it wasn’t mainstream people took it a bit more seriously.

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