Gulity!

This will be a quicky. Over the last month I have been interested in four women at the same time, which is new to me. Over the last few day things have taken a massive turn. One of the ladies is a single mom who was hurt in a relationship an told me I would make a perfect boyfriend. I told her that she could do much better than me, but that hasn’t stopped her pursuit. The other young lady I met on a film set an we talked off an on, she agreed to go with me to a  movie on May 4th so I am fairly content there. The next is a sexual monster! She just got out of an relationship an wants to use me as her rebound. (which I am fine with) I have to admitted I am intimidated by the amount of aggression that shows in getting me into her bed. Lastly is the sweet girl at work, the one that smile an freezes my life an causes my heart to race. I have approached her a few times and get no rejection or acceptance. SO she has become my challenge, an now I find myself guilty of the very thing I accuse women of. Going after the hard points is exciting, when you have women throwing themselves at you, but on the inside your a nice guy it makes some interesting internal battles.

Jaded Much?

What are our opinions derived from? I always said if you bring emotions to a debate you have already lost. We must strive to see both sides of a situation to better our argument. After doing some blog reading I kept coming across some opinions on things that were extremely jaded. Some made no sense at all. I was this person, ranting away about the things that happen or make no sense. I realized that the more I ranted I seemed to come full circle an realize that the problem was within me. That my communication was bad, or it didn’t work because I didn’t read the signs. The more I blogged the more my attitude changed. When I thought out my rants they turned from mindless rants to a quest for knowledge. I slowly became aware of the other side of my problem. I began reading female blogs an this also began to open my eyes, an I strove to present to them a mans view of the situation.  I can now see the pain an devastation we, both sexes are bringing down on each others heads. So when you rant think an ask the questions that you have an see them from both sides. I assure you, acting off what is in your head is almost never sound judgement.

Stand Against

I am finding that friend zone awareness is on the rise. So I decided to start sharing the ones that make a lot of sense to me, an possibly enlighten some females as to how men view the friend-zone

100 Tips from a Professional Photographer

1. Just because someone has an expensive camera doesn’t mean that they’re a good photographer.
2. Always shoot in RAW. Always.
3. Prime lenses help you learn to be a better photographer.
4. Photo editing is an art in itself
5. The rule of thirds works 99% of the time.
6. Macro photography isn’t for everybody.
7. UV filters work just as well as lens caps.
8. Go outside & shoot photos rather than spending hours a day on photography forums.
9. Capture the beauty in the mundane and you have a winning photograph.
10. Film isn’t better than digital.
11. Digital isn’t better than film.
12. There is no “magic” camera or lens.
13. Better lenses don’t give you better photos.
14. Spend less time looking at other people’s work and more time shooting your own.
15. Don’t take your DSLR to parties.
16. Girls dig photographers.
17. Making your photos b/w doesn’t automatically make them “artsy”
18. People will always discredit your work if you tell them you “photoshop” your images. Rather, tell them that you process them in the “digital darkroom”.
19. You don’t need to take a photo of everything.
20. Have at least 2 backups of all your images. Like they say in war, two is one, one is none.
21. Ditch the neck strap and get a handstrap.
22. Get closer when taking your photos, they often turn out better.
23. Be a part of a scene while taking a photo; not a voyeur.
24. Taking a photo crouched often make your photos look more interesting.
25. Worry less about technical aspects and focus more on compositional aspects of photography.
26. Tape up any logos on your camera with black gaffers tape- it brings a lot less attention to you.
27. Always underexpose by 2/3rds of a stop when shooting in broad daylight.
28. The more photos you take, the better you get.
29. Don’t be afraid to take several photos of the same scene at different exposures, angles, or apertures.
30. Only show your best photos.
31. A point-and-shoot is still a camera.
32. Join an online photography forum.
33. Critique the works of others.
34. Think before you shoot.
35. A good photo shouldn’t require explanation (although background information often adds to an image). *
36. Alcohol and photography do not mix well.
37. Draw inspiration from other photographers but never worship them.
38. Grain is beautiful.
39. Ditch the photo backpack and get a messenger bag. It makes getting your lenses and camera a whole lot easier.
40. Simplicity is key.
41. The definition of photography is: “painting with light.” Use light in your favor.
42. Find your style of photography and stick with it.
43. Having a second monitor is the best thing ever for photo processing.
44. Silver EFEX pro is the best b/w converter.
45. Carry your camera with you everywhere. Everywhere.
46. Never let photography get in the way of enjoying life.
47. Don’t pamper your camera. Use and abuse it.
48. Take straight photos.
49. Shoot with confidence.
50. Photography and juxtaposition are best friends.
51. Print out your photos big. They will make you happy.
52. Give your photos to friends.
53. Give them to strangers.
54. Don’t forget to frame them.
55. Costco prints are cheap and look great.
56. Go out and take photos with (a) friend(s).
57. Join a photo club or start one for yourself.
58. Photos make great presents.
59. Taking photos of strangers is thrilling.
60. Candid>Posed.
61. Natural light is the best light.
62. 35mm (on full frame) is the best “walk-around” focal length.
63. Don’t be afraid to bump up your ISO when necessary.
64. You don’t need to always bring a tripod with you everywhere you go (hell, I don’t even own one).
65. It is always better to underexpose than overexpose.
66. Shooting photos of homeless people in an attempt to be “artsy” is exploitation.
67. You will find the best photo opportunities in the least likely situations.
68. Photos are always more interesting with the human element included.
69. You can’t “photoshop” bad images into good ones.
70. Nowadays everybody is a photographer.
71. You don’t need to fly to Paris to get good photos; the best photo opportunities are in your backyard.
72. People with DSLRS who shoot portraits with their grip pointed downwards look like morons.
73. Cameras as tools, not toys.
74. In terms of composition, photography and painting aren’t much different.
75. Photography isn’t a hobby- it’s a lifestyle.
76. Make photos, not excuses.
77. Be original in your photography. Don’t try to copy the style of others.
78. The best photographs tell stories that begs the viewer for more.
79. Any cameras but black ones draw too much attention.
80. The more gear you carry around with you the less you will enjoy photography.
81. Good self-portraits are harder to take than they seem.
82. Laughter always draws out peoples’ true character in a photograph.
83. Don’t look suspicious when taking photos- blend in with the environment.
84. Landscape photography can become dull after a while.
85. Have fun while taking photos.
86. Never delete any of your photos.
87. Be respectful when taking photos of people or places.
88. When taking candid photos of people in the street, it is easier to use a wide-angle than a telephoto lens.
89. Travel and photography are the perfect pair.
90. Learn how to read a histogram.
91. A noisy photo is better than a blurry one.
92. Don’t be afraid to take photos in the rain.
93. Learn how to enjoy the moment, rather than relentlessly trying to capture the perfect picture of it.
94. Never take photos on an empty stomach.
95. You will discover a lot about yourself through your photography.
96. Never hoard your photographic insight- share it with the world.
97. Never stop taking photos
98. Photography is more than simply taking photos, it is a philosophy of life
99. Capture the decisive moment
100. Write your own list.

BY Eric Kim

Familar Signs

The smile that makes my heart jump, the eyes that read my soul. The thoughts that invades my dreams an mind on a daily basis. She says I crack her up, she says she enjoys messing with me. She can call my bluffs with just a slight glance. Shes fun, playful, intelligent, mysterious, an single. While all signs point to me being into her. I woke up this morning an I suddenly realize this all seems so familiar! It’s like a replay, the girl that I couldn’t best when joking around. Her ability to get under my skin, an read my face with a mere glance. I also thought about her everyday, she also made her way into my dreams frequently. So what happened, is this a bad sign or good sign? Well I also asked that young lady out in which she agreed but then blew me off. She also used me when she could, disarming my attempts to resist easily. Turns out I later found out she had a boyfriend, but she had gotten the A for the class she needed from me. I didn’t blame her, I blamed myself. I have no idea where this new one is headed. Am I just fun for her? Someone to toy with to make her day go by faster. I don’t know, I do care however, wasting energy on someone who will not return it to me is a waste. I will see, I will know there will be no friend zone for this guy.

Lessons learned

Long gone are the days when me an my best friend would dress up as Grant an Lee for class reports.. When we would hang out an play together an dreamed of being war heroes. Our youth tore from us by this ugliness of racism that GROWN people taught us. It was amazing those times when I liked a white girl an didn’t think that my skin color was a problem for us. I have in remembrance of those days I have relinquished the title African American an will only identify myself as an American an human.

Death of Prejudice

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”
Mark Twain

Think Different

Very true and inspirational. Dare to be different!

What Happened To All the Nice guys

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I’d take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven’t figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He’d tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn’t feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn’t know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys?”

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what’s right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don’t really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you’ve fucked yourself over. You’re getting older, after all. It’s time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn’t want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn’t fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

I did not write this.. It was taken from a best of craiglist post.

Game Changer

Five days after my fail attempt to ask her out, I decided not to worry anymore. I walked up to her an asked her if she wanted my information IE phone number an stuff and she said sure. She gave me a piece of paper an I wrote it all down and walked away. I was sick an tired of wondering if I have a shot, if she was into me. SO I put the ball firmly in her court, if she decides to woman up an call me then fine, if she doesn’t that is also fine. No more worrying an trying to read the signs for me. Casting my fishing line into deeper waters while I wait for a bite from her.