If it’s not Broken….

That’s right you just heard the dreaded words I think I need some space or it’s not you it’s me. So heart was broken an the only way to fix it is to head out into the wonderful world of dating.

WAIT we all agree that the dating world is broken, ruthless, an overall terrifying. It’s loaded with players, bitches an wolves in sheep clothing. Yet no one has stepped forward to change it. I occasionally come across the empowered female who hunts me down like a lioness on the savanna. However this don’t happen often, it’s mostly me giving the eyes to a woman or vice versa or eyeing her profile online an sending a well thought out letter. We don’t trust each other, we all hate the game but few are courageous enough to try an change it.

The dating world is hostile an dangerous.  We have to change this somehow. Someone has to be that change. Whether its not being shallow or giving that guy or girl you wouldn’t a chance. Stop grouping all men or women in stereotypes and you will find a lot more opportunities.  Don’t shoot down compliments an stop stalking an hating on each other. Together we can change the dating world.

In faith I Date

WARNING!! This is not a bashing of faith but more of a desire to understand some reasoning behind recent interactions…

The most commonly heard phrase that l have read or heard is I’m waiting on God to give me a man. I really don’t know how to take this phrase or I am focusing on God right now. They both sound a lot like the I am focusing on my career or more commonly I have a boyfriend. Should I add these to the book of little white lies women tell? I could place them on the lists of nice ways to say I’m not interested.. 

I could be completely wrong here but I was also raised to be a minister but I never remembered much about pre-marriage relationships. These answers sound like excuses for different personality flaws or quite possibly denial. I believe they we have to take the first steps, it’s highly unlikely that a light from heaven is going to shine down on a man an voice say this is the one for you. I have NEVER seen this happen, I have also seen a lot of christians divorce. What does this mean? Does it mean you picked before God shined the heavenly light on the right one? 

Religion is a touchy subject, but since I have been there an have seen very little in the Bible about dating I am curious as to where all these sayings an excuses are coming from.  Those are perhaps the two statements theres no comeback from, I mean if God didn’t shine the light on you then there must be zero hope an you don’t want to be the reason someone loses focus on God.

I often wonder that with the changing of society how would people reinterpret religion an the Bible. My take is not having a shiny light or an appfinity that a guy is the man for you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give him a chance. Asking God for a man is about as asking God for cold hard cash probably not going to happen. An if it does he may not be what you physically want an you will just once again pawn him off. 

So I ask you how do you interpet those two phrases?

Loving the dance?

I’m warning you I’m not an easy catch! That’s what she said to me today. First a little history on Mizz K. A few months back I started an experiment which I detailed in a previous post. Well she was part of this experiment an I had given up on her after she blew me off on the first date without even a call. However I am a curious person an was oft told by my parents that curiosity killed the cat. I had to find out why she would just blow me off after saying yes. So I work with this young lady so I had to dance correctly in order to not turn the whole workplace awkward. After much hard work I got to the bottom of the issue, she didn’t like me like that! So we agreed to be friends, I secretly agreed to not give up on getting a shot at her. So I would say things that friends wouldn’t say to her got her number an started texting her. First we would text to about 11 or 12 then suddenly we were up to 4am every night for a week, texting about sex relationships playing games ect. She then wanted to make up the movie to me an after the movie we hugged.

 

I leave in 2 weeks to go away for military training for about 6 months. She is a virgin, never been in a serious relationship. We know each other an our conversation become a battle of wit an constant reading each other while flirting an learning more. She wants to let what happen happen, an I know better than rush a woman into a decision. We have a lot planned with each other over the next few weeks before I leave an she will be learning skype so we can video chat. I think its important that I kiss her before I go to make that sexual connection. I know I have fallen for her an she doesn’t know how she feels about me. She says I’m growing on her an she loved the hug. So now I wait an see what will become of this. We have chemistry an one last thing… Did I mention she to is a Gemini?

The Davey Jones method

I once heard that those who are heartless once cared to much. I was always the guy that the chick would end the relationship telling me I would end up stepped on. I was the guy that the term cute an sweet was used to describe me. Something had to change so yes, I cut out my heart an locked it away in a chest deep within the Arctic so I can never feel again. My mission now is simply to learn an perfect the game. My mind is always there but it has been my heart that keeps me from letting go. As the years tick away an I get stuck attempting to court one girl for months I realize a change must be made. With my heart gone rejection can longer stop me an strong emotion can’t cloud my judgement. I believe this is best for me, life is short so I might as well enjoy it! 

Online Dating help

Okay so I have tried online dating for a few years with no success. I have only had one date which came from match.com an the rest nothing. I have paid for eharmony, match, OkCupid, POF an a bunch more little known sites. Still no dice, my profile was honest an written by myself completely filled out. I’ve done the tests an piled pictures on my profiles. I took my time to read the profiles an sent genuine answers to them an received no replies. So what am I doing wrong?  I often say if they would just give me a chance, but it seems that I can’t seem to get that. So one day I happened across a site that gave me a guaranteed line to get responses. So I typed it in an sure enough! every woman I sent it to responded! I was baffled that a line that made absolutely no sense an applied to nothing on the profile could be successful. I tried this line on even the hottest ones that never reply an it also worked on them. SO are online dating women really that naive? That I can send a one liner to 100 women an get a reply without even looking at the profile? If I read an take the time to write a good well thought out letter I strike out? This is why I stopped online dating. It proved to me that it wasn’t me it’s the women out there. So tell me if this isn’t true then what catches your attention? What do you like to read or see on a profile? What gets you to respond to a note?

Online Dating Advice

Answer you notes, messages an winks! There is nothing worst than someone having a full mailbox after you took the time to write out a long thoughtful note.

Denial ends now

Lets get this straight….

You fell in love with someone who didn’t love you back. How did you expect that to end?

You chased the man or woman who wasn’t interested in you, now you you wonder why they left you. How do people expect these plotlines to end? Maybe they will see you for who you are an fall for you. Maybe they will be so taken with you persistance that they will confess their undying love for you. Maybe they will see you as you really are.. A human following human nature to get what looks impossible to get.

You see them as a prize, they see you as a predator.. scary huh? Yep that what it looks like a lion chasing a meer cat down an ripping it into shreds. We tend to be blind to reality, but maybe we are looking to defy it. Maybe we think that we will be the exception that movies are written about. The supervillan that somehow survives the onslaught.

True when you go for the impossible it almost seems worth it. Without great risk comes no reward right? Does that count when you dealing with courting? Maybe there should be a disclaimer on some of the quotes out there.

If at first you don’t succeed try try again.. that’s called stalking

Don’t stop pushing till you get what you want.. that’s called rape

Let’s just take a look at how life an dating are different. In a world where not trying is the same as failing an trying to hard lands you in jail. Maybe we should take it slow.. Just saying

Open to Comments!

You open your heart to the world, you pour out your soul in your blog. You hope someone sees it an perhaps has the answer, maybe a bit of reassurance. Hours go by an not one comment! Maybe a like an only 11 views. You know people are reading but what can you do to get them to comment? You try an encourage them by asking a question at the end. You state an opinion an request feed back, but still no dice. I have found that the best way to get comments is to say something outrageous, something unbelievable. Something that makes readers look back and an say what in the hell? You must say something that bothers people convictions an calls their morals into question. While sure this maybe hard to do, but if you writing is direct or offensive someone will comment. Some soul will make their opinion known. So I say this go out there! Write about how you love abortion, write about how all men are dogs an people will respond. Likes are over rated, comments is where the fun interaction is!

Journey Sacrifice & Change

A list of changes in my life that I made to get to the place of no depression fits. Self acceptance an dealing with women. An what helped me an how it did.

1. Purchased 30 days of the Game book… This taught me self confidence an reinforced it with missions/ exercises. It taught me not to hate women, but to embrace them an understand how they see me.

2. Blocked all my female friends news updates on facebook… This was one of the best things I did. I was suddenly less angry an irritable from reading about their constant love life. SO logging into my facebook became a pleasure an I could read their wall when I chose to.

3. Changed my style…. I went from wearing traditional clothing to something that was out of my norm.. Clothes that flattered my body an was stylish. This helped change my thinking an confidence level. I walked with more confidence because somehow I felt better.

3. Cut myself out of all female friend zones… This was a very important step. I felt free from judging female friends relationships an worrying about how they was being treated. It also took away the crutch that  I was using to say that I still had a chance with them.  At this point I was starting to get to new levels of happiness in my life. I was satisfied an less stressed from dancing at their whim.

4. Let go…. Stopped chasing women an just made my intention clear an backed away. No more over thinking it, acting more like a man than a love hungry woman. I view myself as the prize now an the world won’t change for me, but I can change the world within me.

5. Took a chance.. Started going out on a branch, asking women out or acknowledging their approach. Had sex for the first time since I turned 20. Stopped doing things for others an worked for myself.

6. Listened to what women are saying about men.. This taught me a lot about how they think. I understood all the ways they could reject a man without actually saying it out right. I also learned that they are firm believers in having multiple dating interests at a time, well some of them don’t but most do. I adopted that belief an found it much easier an I didn’t come on as hard as normal which didn’t scare the women away… WINNING

These are the steps I took an now I have 3 dates planned an a friend with benefits. Am I bragging? no I am just saying that after a 5 year drought in sex an relationships I am finally seeing some success. It took a major over haul to my thinking an embracing the things I didn’t want to believe. My next step is to make steps that will change my career  progression an other passions that seem to be fizzling out.

Thank you for reading an tell me what you think about this, an if you have any suggestions.

The Chase

Chase or be chased that is the question. For years I have been taught, read, an told that you must chase a woman if you want her. I have found that this wrong in a lot of instances. I have attempted to chase women only for them to run away. Typically if a woman is running, it’s best to leave her be. So what is to be done? Get her to chase you! Yes, turn the tables and things get a bit more interesting. A woman chasing you tends to know what she wants. The same fear that runs through veins when you try an close the deal is now running through hers. She is more willing to take chances, an speed things up. I speak from experience, when getting chased by a woman you know your options. You don’t have to worry about her losing interest in you, which is common when you are the one chasing. Be the ball rubbed with cat-nip that hangs just out of her reach. Drive her crazy, make her think about her every move. It will feel weird, but in the end you will feel like the prize and value yourself even more.