Why is it that I can’t have just a good conversation with a woman without it looking like I want more? I am the type of guy who loves to chat, I look for maturity in these conversations. I look for a passion or desire for knowledge in her. In order to get to this conversation I must ask her out.
I must learn to just let go, while looks attract me its the brain that drives me crazy. When she gives an excuse I should just move on. I waste to much time an energy on lost causes. Every time my energy goes into the wrong person I slip a tad more into depression. However this will not stop me. I will move on faster an see the signs clearer.
Can’t we just talk over coffee or a lunch? Can’t you just let me learn about you? Why are there so many games? Why so many steps? Well I brought this on myself, should have just let go.
What do u see when u look into my eyes? When u watch me smile? What does my laugh tell you? Do you see joy or the hidden pain? The unforgivably of myself for all my faults? Can u read my guilt? Can you see the beast lurking within? If you can’t then how are you my friend? Why do I talk to you? What did you offer me to make this exception to the rule? Why am I so full of hate? Why does the one thing that can soothe it elude me? Where do I aim this passion, release this rage channel this hate? when can I rest forever lay down and rest? that’s all I want is to rest no thoughts or feelings. Peaceful, painless release. Just the thought brings me peace. I want to see clearly again. It hurts for a second but the result, the result is worth it.