Chase or be chased that is the question. For years I have been taught, read, an told that you must chase a woman if you want her. I have found that this wrong in a lot of instances. I have attempted to chase women only for them to run away. Typically if a woman is running, it’s best to leave her be. So what is to be done? Get her to chase you! Yes, turn the tables and things get a bit more interesting. A woman chasing you tends to know what she wants. The same fear that runs through veins when you try an close the deal is now running through hers. She is more willing to take chances, an speed things up. I speak from experience, when getting chased by a woman you know your options. You don’t have to worry about her losing interest in you, which is common when you are the one chasing. Be the ball rubbed with cat-nip that hangs just out of her reach. Drive her crazy, make her think about her every move. It will feel weird, but in the end you will feel like the prize and value yourself even more.
Long gone are the days when me an my best friend would dress up as Grant an Lee for class reports.. When we would hang out an play together an dreamed of being war heroes. Our youth tore from us by this ugliness of racism that GROWN people taught us. It was amazing those times when I liked a white girl an didn’t think that my skin color was a problem for us. I have in remembrance of those days I have relinquished the title African American an will only identify myself as an American an human.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”
It won’t hurt me, it’s not my problem. These are the things we often tell ourselves when making decisions. We justify our decisions by selfish means with very limited thought on the overall outcome. How do we fix this you may ask. Communication, and respect for our other people. Why need to communicate why we are making a decision. We both men and women come in contact with each other an at time treat each other badly. Women lie or speak “womanese” about their intentions or desires. Men try to evolve to have a fighting chance at getting women. With each interaction we take what happens with us an past that on to the next person we encounter. These interactions make the eternal waves start to flow. When we have bad break ups, cheat on our husband or wives or just plain treat people poorly we affect them an the in-turn affect everyone else.
I said all that to say this, just like a smile is infectious and spreads to people around you, so are your actions. Please beware of the people you hurt because they will only go off to hurt others keeping the eternal waves moving, shaping the shores of our life an those of complete strangers. Don’t let selfishness be the shores our children land on in our future. Spread the love people not hate. Treat people how you want to be treated now an in the future.
You know we can always be good friends an I don’t want that to change. The most dreaded line a man has to hear in his lifetime, besides No I won’t marry you. If you haven’t guessed I’m talking about the friend zone. The zone of dreams of false hope, the zone of no return. The friend zone is the equivalent of a woman getting her cake an eating it too. My experience with the friend zone is extensive. I once believed that if I show her how good of a friend I was then she would soon fall for me an want more. I was wrong, instead I was a tissue an shoulder to cry on. I was a clown when she needed to be cheered up, an also the study buddy at 3am in the morning. Do I regret all that I did in the friend zone in false hope of becoming more than friends? YES, every second was wasted time an energy. It was time I could have been spending finding some one who actually wanted more than just a lackey from me.
What surprises me the most is that women are oblivious to the friend zone. They seem to think that its okay to use someone to that capacity, even though they know they man has feeling for them. How do they justify this behavior? Well it’s such a good thing why pass on the chance to have your own personal slave. Personally I think it’s evil an selfish, but that is a humans nature. Take what you can an give nothing back if you can avoid it.
My conclusion is this, a plea to my fellow men. Get out of the friend zone and live your life. Help your friends to see the truth of their plight an move on. I will say this to women if you think you are in a mans friend zone you too should either tell him how you feel an if he don’t feel the same way then move on. We should all stop being selfish and wasting time, an move on to someone better!
I think I can! I think I can! we all remember the the little engine that could. We all wish we had the motivation to get an get things done. The power to focus beyond the distractions an push out beyond ourselves. Well we can! The secret is motivation.
We must find what pushes us forward, what makes us tick an what is our end goal. Every day when I know I have a long tough day ahead of me I watch a whole series of motivational videos. These videos I have embedded into my subconscious, so when I think I can’t I can hear them pushing me forward. They challenge me to move past me.
Do they work you may ask. Well think back to the greatest leaders of all times, people who motivated with words. People who can stir your heart to move on to do seemingly impossible things. Soldiers use motivation to take the hill, artist use it to finish off the major project that will one day change their life. People who do great things are motivated by things that they keep close within. Motivation is indeed a powerful tool. For some it’s when their back is against the wall an there is nowhere to go. I consider that forced motivation.
What motivates you to write on your blog? What pushes you through your day? What gives you the power to think beyond an do what is impossible? I really cherish motivation because without it I could accomplish nothing. Without proper motivation you are doomed to fail.
Is it because I’m ugly? Is it because I’m shy? Maybe it’s because I’m to nice! None of these are correct, it’s because I don’t ask. I am beginning to see why I finish last in the dating game. After doing some reading an self searching I found that I was ruining my own chances. How is it that I am so successful at life, but suck with women? Well it started with my own way of thinking.
I am currently 25 years old and have never been in a relationship. I have however been on one date. As a child I grew up in a big family. I quickly adopted the watch an learn method to reduce my chances of making a mistake. An that was my biggest mistake! I was so busy watching a learning that I wasn’t experiencing set backs or things that would help to develop my life. Granted learning without mistakes is a good thing, but I have learned that in the game of life you have to take risks. My lack of risk taking is what hinders me daily. I have been completely unwilling to take the risk of asking a woman out if I wasn’t completely sure I would be successful. An this is the driving force behind my problems.
For years I blamed it on being a nice guy so women never notice me. I blamed my looks until other women told me otherwise. I blamed women for their indecisiveness an having no idea what they wanted in a man. That still rings true in so many cases. I blamed my confidence an a whole host of other mental an physical issues I could conjure in my head.
After reading the book I found that not only was my lack of taking risk hurting me, but all my insecurities were showing right on my face an my body language. I learned that even though I have confidence I didn’t know how to show it. I couldn’t show women that I was a valuable asset for their life. An the greatest of all evils I never asked them out. I read that I have a 100% chance of failing if I never tried. Wow! Talking about an mind blowing, eye opening experience. So I am a good person an could have been experiencing success all this time if I had only tried.
Lots of people laughed at me for reading the book an told me to simply be myself, but they were wrong. Being “myself” is not adequate enough to get what your looking for. I had to change the way I presented myself. I had to come up with ways to change the packaging on an old concept. I had to not find myself, but create the man I wanted to be. I had to turn off my watching an waiting though patterns an start taking risks. An now I am confident that nice guys packaged an marketed correctly don’t finish last.
The closer I get
The farther I seem
The thoughts in my head
What the hell do they mean
green pastures I chased
My past I erased
Erased from memory
Erased because they swallow
Drown me, Down me, Surround me
Inside out they eat me
I cant figure out what they mean to me
I hope for someone to believe me
save me from myself, this whirlpool
but this all old news,
I turn an walk
away from me
away from the past that never seems to leave me
it sticks like glue, what am I to do
what direction to take, new mistakes I do make
I have lost all faith
alone in my room
crowded in my mind, I stare hard but am I missing the signs
I wanted you needed you
to clear my head to make sense of all that I dread.
But I walk away
from this thing you called love
This feeling of want that flew away like the African morning dove
beautiful face cold in heart you plunged me even deeper into my own locked away heart
So I walked away
forever never to look back
locked away my heart turned off my belief and awoke from my dreams
You say what does all this mean
I walked towards the path I can’t yet see
all I know is you are no longer part of me.
I WALKED AWAY
What do u see when u look into my eyes? When u watch me smile? What does my laugh tell you? Do you see joy or the hidden pain? The unforgivably of myself for all my faults? Can u read my guilt? Can you see the beast lurking within? If you can’t then how are you my friend? Why do I talk to you? What did you offer me to make this exception to the rule? Why am I so full of hate? Why does the one thing that can soothe it elude me? Where do I aim this passion, release this rage channel this hate? when can I rest forever lay down and rest? that’s all I want is to rest no thoughts or feelings. Peaceful, painless release. Just the thought brings me peace. I want to see clearly again. It hurts for a second but the result, the result is worth it.
The women my mother raised me to respect, I have found to no longer exist.