Okay so I have tried online dating for a few years with no success. I have only had one date which came from match.com an the rest nothing. I have paid for eharmony, match, OkCupid, POF an a bunch more little known sites. Still no dice, my profile was honest an written by myself completely filled out. I’ve done the tests an piled pictures on my profiles. I took my time to read the profiles an sent genuine answers to them an received no replies. So what am I doing wrong? I often say if they would just give me a chance, but it seems that I can’t seem to get that. So one day I happened across a site that gave me a guaranteed line to get responses. So I typed it in an sure enough! every woman I sent it to responded! I was baffled that a line that made absolutely no sense an applied to nothing on the profile could be successful. I tried this line on even the hottest ones that never reply an it also worked on them. SO are online dating women really that naive? That I can send a one liner to 100 women an get a reply without even looking at the profile? If I read an take the time to write a good well thought out letter I strike out? This is why I stopped online dating. It proved to me that it wasn’t me it’s the women out there. So tell me if this isn’t true then what catches your attention? What do you like to read or see on a profile? What gets you to respond to a note?
Answer you notes, messages an winks! There is nothing worst than someone having a full mailbox after you took the time to write out a long thoughtful note.
Lets get this straight….
You fell in love with someone who didn’t love you back. How did you expect that to end?
You chased the man or woman who wasn’t interested in you, now you you wonder why they left you. How do people expect these plotlines to end? Maybe they will see you for who you are an fall for you. Maybe they will be so taken with you persistance that they will confess their undying love for you. Maybe they will see you as you really are.. A human following human nature to get what looks impossible to get.
You see them as a prize, they see you as a predator.. scary huh? Yep that what it looks like a lion chasing a meer cat down an ripping it into shreds. We tend to be blind to reality, but maybe we are looking to defy it. Maybe we think that we will be the exception that movies are written about. The supervillan that somehow survives the onslaught.
True when you go for the impossible it almost seems worth it. Without great risk comes no reward right? Does that count when you dealing with courting? Maybe there should be a disclaimer on some of the quotes out there.
If at first you don’t succeed try try again.. that’s called stalking
Don’t stop pushing till you get what you want.. that’s called rape
Let’s just take a look at how life an dating are different. In a world where not trying is the same as failing an trying to hard lands you in jail. Maybe we should take it slow.. Just saying
1 million questions,1 million problems, 0 answers, 1 source women. A woman knows all there is to know about love. She can feel it at a very young age, an will go to the end of the world to find it. She’s like a blood hound on the scent of a rabbit, once she sense love all common sense goes out the window. She has no regard for her safety or anyone around her. Her emotions are like a arty round, destroys everything remotely close to the drop zone. Love leads to murder, sabotage an most commonly hate. While we can’t touch love or even know that the feeling is real, they still believe firmly in it. They are experts in it, they know where it begins an how it will end. So what do you do when a woman says she is in love with you? I would say run, but she will catch you. I would say hide, but like a snake drawn to eggs she will consume you. We men are the prey, even when we think we are the hunters. We never get the girl, the girl gets us. Slowly but surely I am realizing more an more, that I am powerless in her eyes. That it is dangerous to get her attention because once she wants you, you have no say in the matter.
It’s not the first time I slept with her. She calls or texts me to come over an I show up, play hard to get an have a little fun by the end of the night. She says shes not ready for a relationship, she wants to be friends with benefits. Here she is in my bed now sound asleep, an I’m baking her cinnamon buns for when she wakes up. I think I have a problem, I can’t fall for her an ruin this arrangement. I can feel Mr. Nice guy sneaking in! I won’t let him though, I just have to make it to my date with my other prospects this weekend an reset my mind. I think I will be good then right? One thing I have learned is never push a woman in a direction you want to go, or fall for one who hasn’t fallen for you.
Chase or be chased that is the question. For years I have been taught, read, an told that you must chase a woman if you want her. I have found that this wrong in a lot of instances. I have attempted to chase women only for them to run away. Typically if a woman is running, it’s best to leave her be. So what is to be done? Get her to chase you! Yes, turn the tables and things get a bit more interesting. A woman chasing you tends to know what she wants. The same fear that runs through veins when you try an close the deal is now running through hers. She is more willing to take chances, an speed things up. I speak from experience, when getting chased by a woman you know your options. You don’t have to worry about her losing interest in you, which is common when you are the one chasing. Be the ball rubbed with cat-nip that hangs just out of her reach. Drive her crazy, make her think about her every move. It will feel weird, but in the end you will feel like the prize and value yourself even more.
This will be a quicky. Over the last month I have been interested in four women at the same time, which is new to me. Over the last few day things have taken a massive turn. One of the ladies is a single mom who was hurt in a relationship an told me I would make a perfect boyfriend. I told her that she could do much better than me, but that hasn’t stopped her pursuit. The other young lady I met on a film set an we talked off an on, she agreed to go with me to a movie on May 4th so I am fairly content there. The next is a sexual monster! She just got out of an relationship an wants to use me as her rebound. (which I am fine with) I have to admitted I am intimidated by the amount of aggression that shows in getting me into her bed. Lastly is the sweet girl at work, the one that smile an freezes my life an causes my heart to race. I have approached her a few times and get no rejection or acceptance. SO she has become my challenge, an now I find myself guilty of the very thing I accuse women of. Going after the hard points is exciting, when you have women throwing themselves at you, but on the inside your a nice guy it makes some interesting internal battles.
What are our opinions derived from? I always said if you bring emotions to a debate you have already lost. We must strive to see both sides of a situation to better our argument. After doing some blog reading I kept coming across some opinions on things that were extremely jaded. Some made no sense at all. I was this person, ranting away about the things that happen or make no sense. I realized that the more I ranted I seemed to come full circle an realize that the problem was within me. That my communication was bad, or it didn’t work because I didn’t read the signs. The more I blogged the more my attitude changed. When I thought out my rants they turned from mindless rants to a quest for knowledge. I slowly became aware of the other side of my problem. I began reading female blogs an this also began to open my eyes, an I strove to present to them a mans view of the situation. I can now see the pain an devastation we, both sexes are bringing down on each others heads. So when you rant think an ask the questions that you have an see them from both sides. I assure you, acting off what is in your head is almost never sound judgement.
The smile that makes my heart jump, the eyes that read my soul. The thoughts that invades my dreams an mind on a daily basis. She says I crack her up, she says she enjoys messing with me. She can call my bluffs with just a slight glance. Shes fun, playful, intelligent, mysterious, an single. While all signs point to me being into her. I woke up this morning an I suddenly realize this all seems so familiar! It’s like a replay, the girl that I couldn’t best when joking around. Her ability to get under my skin, an read my face with a mere glance. I also thought about her everyday, she also made her way into my dreams frequently. So what happened, is this a bad sign or good sign? Well I also asked that young lady out in which she agreed but then blew me off. She also used me when she could, disarming my attempts to resist easily. Turns out I later found out she had a boyfriend, but she had gotten the A for the class she needed from me. I didn’t blame her, I blamed myself. I have no idea where this new one is headed. Am I just fun for her? Someone to toy with to make her day go by faster. I don’t know, I do care however, wasting energy on someone who will not return it to me is a waste. I will see, I will know there will be no friend zone for this guy.